SubscribeBecoming a real team of caregivers
I’m lucky to have three sisters, particularly as we adjust to the changing relationship with our mother. As Mom grows older, she needs more from us – compassion, patience and time. We also need just as much from each other.
We’ve been figuring out our new roles over the past few years as Mom has faced increasing health issues and has sought guidance in making decisions about doctors and surgeries and other matters. She is no longer able to drive and needs help taking care of the house she and my father bought more than 50 years ago.
My sisters and I have close relationships and have been able to handle difficulties over the years. We had a strong role model in our father, who until he passed away a little over 24 years ago, maintained close ties with his five brothers and one sister. So it came easily to us to step in and start helping when we realized our mother needed it.
But we didn’t have a plan. We didn’t understand at first that we needed to sit down with each other, and our mother, to talk about her needs and how we could help collectively and individually. We were on a treadmill of sorts, responding to each crisis without an idea of where we were going. That left us with some hurt feelings.
More than a year ago we sat down and developed a strategy. We’re now a real team of caregivers, relying on each other for support as we help our mother. How are you and your siblings handling care giving duties?
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I am a member of the Sandwich Generation, a Baby Boomer raising a teenage daughter and dealing with the needs of an aging mother. I am a veteran journalist, having worked for more than three decades as a reporter and editor. Mostly recently, I was an editor with the Metro section of The Washington Post.
Reading about your experience as a “Sandwich Child” dealing with an aging parent (and aging self!) made me want to encourage you to CELEBRATE and realize what a BLESSING you have – a Mother that is still living and loving, caring siblings with whom to share the joy and pain. I beg you to take full advantage of the opportunity you have with your Mother – To hold her hand, kiss her face and tell your her everything that needs telling. I applaud your efforts to come together as sisters. To be united. You should all take time to hug each other and say thank you. To God and to each other!