Here in the South, many people speak with an easygoing drawl and folks will warmly greet you in public places, whether they know you or not. At least those are the ways of real Southerners. But some of the old culture is fading as people move here from across the country. One casualty: saying “yes mam” or “no mam,” “yes sir” or “no sir.”

In the few months I’ve been back in North Carolina, I’ve been struck by a noticeable drop in the use of the phrases, compared to a few decades ago. Of course, I still hear them but it’s usually from someone with a Southern accent. 

The other day, I heard an older man reply with a “yes mam” to a younger woman who was dealing with his paperwork at a doctor’s office. After a recent PTA meeting at my daughter’s high school, a teenager said “yes mam” at the end of a brief conversation with the mother of one of his friends. Store clerks here use the phrases often. 

I won’t get into the historical context for the phrases or whether people should continue to say them. But they are used as a show of respect by whites and blacks and people of other races who choose to adopt this Southern tradition. 

I still say “yes mam” and “no mam” to my nearly 80-year-old mother though I don’t use the phrases with anyone else. My daughter similarly responds to her grandmother. She learned this Southern way when she was nearly 3 years old. At the end of her first annual summer visit with grandma, I asked my daughter what she had done during her weeklong stay in North Carolina. She looked at me and calmly replied, “I said yes mam.”

Related posts:

1. Wishing for more snow
2. Remembering clotheslines
3. Discovering the new south